Have just noticed that I have not even tried to draw something in a long time. Tried something tonight. A bird. It wasn't too good.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the general suckness of my life, although that never stopped me before. Could be my courseload. It sucks.

Biopsych: my class is half full of medsci students, so the lecturer goes through the basics really really quickly. We did neuroanatomy in about two lectures and neurophysiology in the same amount of time. It is such a huge amount of info to learn in such little time especially for an arts student whose bio knowledge was limited to 'uh duhhhhh neuron is made of soma, dendrites and axon'. After the first ten minutes of the first lecture it was all brand new unknown land.

Oh and then some jackass decided to correct the lecturer by mentioning some new research which says the action potential does not occur at the axon hillock, it occurs at some fuckoff random place, and no one else can find if this research is true (quite possibly it is a load of bollocks) but the lecturer hasn't told us yet what he expects us to write in the test about where action potentials come from argrhrgrhrhr

Personality & Development: well, at least this is straightforward, just lots of information to remember.

Producing Psychological Knowledge: yes, it is as boring as it sounds. So far we have learnt basic stats all over again (in my first week of lectures EVERY CLASS I HAD was reminding us about qualitative and quantitative variables) and then did a huge lecture on neuroimaging (which I see I am doing in bio tomorrow). It's alright though, it's interesting. In it's own way.

Stats: Oh come on this is the easiest course ever and I am math retarded. It barely qualifies as math. Am just not happy that it is at 9am.

However, all of the above is outweighed by the fact that I fucking love my degree, it is so interesting and I am glad I took biopsych. It's not required, and I could have avoided having to do any hard science at all, but it's making me feel smarter. I did almost drop it because it was overwhelming, but now that labs are started I'm getting to grips with it. Practical learning is much easier than being bombarded with diagrams.

To be honest, my grade in first year neuro was shitty, and I wondered after choosing biopsych this year why on earth I did it, but challenging myself has turned out to be great.

I often sound so negative, but I honestly love what I do. I can't wait until next semester to take my class on behaviour. One of the postgrad paths I'm looking at is ABA (applied behaviour analysis) which is about working with young autistic children. If you get there early, right when it's diagnosed, you can make such a huge difference in their behaviour and quality of life. It's inspiring and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to think about. It's a tough path and it's not going to be a decision to make lightly. Have a few years left.

God with my sudden love for neuro I could become a neuropsychologist (if you'd said that this time last year I would have shrunk in horror). Although that too would be a hard path - I don't know if I could work with people with brain injury, after my dad and all (who btw is not improving and the future is so uncertain I just don't talk about it anymore). I don't mind being around him at all though, so maybe neuro would be a good choice.

Anyway, I dunno. I'd like to draw again, I miss it. I do have enough time, I have so much down time that I just spend..vegetating (Peggle got released on Xbox Live Arcade, EXTREME FEVER!). At least art is productive. I have no ideas though. Well, unless you want to see an artsy rendition of the lock and key model of neurotransmitters..

Oh. And if anyone knows about tattoo studios in Auckland please give me some info. I have something specific in mind (which I will think about for at least another year) but want to know if it's possible first (I don't know if any places are willing to do white ink). What is putting me off is that a lot of people who have tattoos are douchebags and I have to get over that first. Mine's not like that (which is what everyone thinks!).